Day 13 – What is in my Purse

I don’t usually carry a purse, but when I do, its just full of junk and stuff I usually don’t end up using. So, it usually has-
1. A book
2. My wallet
3. My phone
4. My earphones
5. My iPod
6. My lip gloss/lipstick
7. A small tube/bottle of moisturizer
8. Sunblock (during summers)
9. A small hair-brush
10. A hair tie
11. A small notebook
12. A pen
13. Sanitary pads
14. A handkerchief
15. Eyeliner/Kajal (sometimes)
16. Mints
17. Face wash (sometimes)
18. Hand Sanitizer
19. My glasses
20. Keys

Yup! so that’s about it!

It’s been a hell of a year!

It’s going to be a year since I started this school tomorrow. I still remember my first day in vivid detail. I was so scared as to whether I would be able to adjust, would I make friends, would people like me and all the random-est possible things. It’s so strange to think that so much has changed since that day, for better and for worse! The year just flew by.

I have been through ups and downs in this school. I have loved it at certain times and it has made me feel like shit at other times. I have loved the people in it and I have hated them also! But it’s been a privilege to study in a school like this and receive the education that I am receiving and for that I am grateful.  I know it’s costing my mom a lot!

I have met really interesting people, made new friends, learnt new things, discovered more about myself, and as cheesy as it sounds, grown as a person.

Academically, I have done well at times, and not so well at other times. But the not so good grades have only encouraged me to try harder and do better.

These past few months have not been easy for me and there has been a lot on my mind, thanks to school and the people at school but because of it I am learning to be stronger or at least trying to be!

So much has happened this year, it’s been a fresh start of sorts. The year has thrown new challenges my way but also given me lots of new opportunities to do things and study things that I never imagined! Overall, I have to say, it’s been a hell of a year!

I am done

Sometimes it feels like I will never be good enough for my mom. I try to do whatever she says, I try to be good but she never seems to be satisfied or happy with me. My friends never seem to want to be around me. They would rather hangout with anyone but me. I am so stupid that I cannot even seem to make and keep friends. I just want someone to want me. I just want someone to need me and to want to talk to me. I know it is selfish of me to want so much but please, just be there for me

I always seem to mess up everything I do and everything I touch. That is why people don’t want me around. I am a fuck up. I am a mistake. It has to be me, what else could it be? I am tired of people hating me and not wanting me around and of people always choosing someone else over me. I am very very tired. No one cares. Absolutely no one cares. And the pain is becoming unbearable. I can’t do this anymore.

I am just so tired of trying and failing. I just want to give up now. I am done. I am so done. Just pull the trigger.

Day 12 – My favorite Quote(s)

I am supposed to write my favorite quote but I just cannot choose one, so here are some of my favorite ones-

“You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.” – Elizabeth Taylor
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“Something inside is hurting you – that’s why you need cigarettes or whiskey, or music turned so fucking loud you can’t think.”
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“To know what a person has done, and to know who a person is, are very different things.” – Hannah Kent, Burial Rites
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Its funny, she laughs like she has never known love, lonliness or the darkness of night andyet in her silence I know she is familiar with far worse and far greater than I may ever wish to know. – Tyler kent white
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“Well, if you had one phone call to make before you died, who would you call, what would you say, and why are you waiting?” —Unknown
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She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.
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“Being an artist means forever healing your own wounds and at the same time endlessly exposing them.” – Annette Messager
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Everyone has a 2am and a 2pm personality. I’m more interested in the monster you become at 2am rather than the human being you pretend to be at 2pm.’
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“Yes, I’m drunk. And you’re beautiful. And tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober but you’ll still be beautiful.” – The Dreamers (2003)
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I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full and my soul is understood.
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You’re a work of art. not everyone will understand you, but the ones who do, will never forget about you.
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I’ve been dancing with the stars again and they’re all whispering your name.
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“Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made.” -Tyler Kent White
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It is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over. But you make it all worth it.
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“You” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.”
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