Day 20 – Something I Miss

I miss a lot of things…

I miss being a kid and running out to play in the park. Running out on a sunny Saturday morning to go play on the swings and playing and jumping in the puddles during rains.

I miss playing this…

I miss my old friends. I haven’t talked to or seen some of them in almost a year.

I miss having lots of free time to read, to paint, to do anything I liked.

I miss not being self conscious. I used to be so carefree as a kid. I never gave a shit about what people would think of me if I wore a certain thing or said a certain thing.

I miss the Disney TV shows; Lizzie McGuire, That’s so Raven, The Suite life of Zack and Cody, Wizards of Waverly place, Hannah Montana, and other TV shows like Oswald and Noddy.

I miss Brandy and Sherry, my two dogs who passed away many years ago.

I miss all of those people who I love but who are not with me anymore.

Today has been Okay.

I have been down for a long while now. I haven’t been happy and I don’t know why. But today was different. It wasn’t a good day by any means. But it was better.

I dread going to lunch. I always feel that people are making fun of me or that they don’t want me around or something. Most of the time I am not very comfortable with the people I sit with. Today, I decided to sit at a different table. I was basically sitting with 4 girls, all of whom I am sort of friends with. Initially i felt really awkward and I wasn’t sure if I should sit there, but I did anyways. And it was really good that I did. I actually had fun. After a really long time, I was happy, not just pretending to be. Though it was short lived because it was just a one time lunch thing, it was nice. Those people are amazing. They were so nice to me. And they were so funny! And they actually heard what I said. I actually felt good, even if it was just for 15-20 minutes.