Quick Update~

So I just wanted to write a quick update post so here goes –

  1. I had a paper due last night at midnight which I managed to do. I have one due at 5pm today and then one due on the 7th. And then I have an exam on the 10th after which I’m free for the summer!!!
  2. I had my last therapy session with my therapist because she’s leaving so when I come back to college in August, I’m going to have a new therapist probably. If I choose to continue therapy, that is.
  3. I just went for the best walk ever, look out for my next post for details.
  4. I really want to do a literature major but my mom says that I can’t. She wants me to do a psychology major. This means that there are going to be some tough decisions to be made soon.
  5. I NEED SLEEP. Finals week is stressful AF.

How are you guys?

Revisiting 2016

Okay so I started writing this post in the last week of December but I’ve only just gotten around to completing and posting it! Oops!


So last year around this time, I did a post called Revisiting 2015 and I basically wrote down the major events from every month and so I decided to do that again for this year! This year has been quite eventful so this might be a long post but here goes –

January –

January was when the college application process was going on and most of the month I was busy with that. I also hit 300 followers on my blog in Jan. In terms of mental health, it wasn’t the best month but I managed. I also wrote a post about mental disorders at that time and about how they’re not a joke. Mom also fell a little sick at that time but it turned out okay.

February –

Valentines day! Even though I’m not a huge fan of that holiday, it was still pretty fun. We had some very cute celebrations in school and then my then girlfriend made some very lovely plans and it was a nice day! Then I also heard back from the one art school I applied to and found out that I got in. It was a very bittersweet moment and I wasn’t able to go but I’m happy now despite the choices I made so it’s cool!

March –

March is when Easter is and reminded me of a friend who recently passed away with whom I used to celebrate Easter. March is also when my sister’s birthday is! She turned 13 last year and I made her a Harry Potter cake and wand and map and all that stuff. I also asked a friend of mine to prom this month. And finally, I started a new Instagram account about feminism etc (here).

April –

I wrote a series of posts about graduation this month. We also had prom this month which meant lots of preparations for that too! Post that we had gratitude day and scribble day. We expressed our gratitude for our teachers and then we scribbled notes on each other’s t shirts. It was a lot of fun! The next day we had our graduation ceremony which was unreal and amazing and slightly overwhelming! Had to make a huge decision regarding college and finally decided to stay in my own country for college. Also, April was so busy with studying for finals! Also, I was one month clean in April.

May –

My finals for high school were in May! they went on for pretty much the entire month till about the 20th! Then I went for a friend’s birthday the day after exams ended and two days later I left for my Graduation trip to Goa with my friends! It was AMAZING!

June –

To be honest most of June is a big blank for me. I think I was so relieved that high school was over that I wasted most of the month!

July –

I was doing an internship in July. I also got my results back for my exams and I was pretty happy. I also got a drastic haircut. Basically I used to have long ans wavy hair and I got it cut quite short and straightened! And finally, I went on a trip to Bangalore and I met my baby cousin and it was great!

August –

I started college in August! And I also turned 18, on the second day of college actually! August was so crazy with college packing and I was so restless and it was no nice and bad and ahhh! So basically summer ending and college starting.

September –

September was insanely busy. I was getting to know my roommate, making friends, getting adjusted to college, learning to manage my studies and everything all at once! I only wrote one post about college this month!

October –

So by now college was in full swing. I had 4 courses and I was finding things pretty difficult cuz well stupid mental health but I was managing. I was also crushing on a bunch of people and idk it was nice. It wasn’t a bad month tbh.

November –

November was a horrible month in terms of mental health. Slept through most of the days tbh. But there were a few good bits. Finished two years on WordPress!!! Also attended my first Pride parade, IT WAS AMAZING OMG! Also, I wrote a post that I’m quite proud of and it was about like people watching on the metro.

December –

So I started my second internship this month. Finished my first semester of college. Christmas!!! And I wrote two posts that I was really happy with, Calcutta and A yellow couch. I also wrote a post about the good bits of 2016.

AND THAT’S IT! DONE WITH 2016!!!

 

 

Updates!

Okay so I’ve had so much to say in the past some time but somehow every time I sit to write, I just can’t. My mind either goes blank or goes into over drive and all the words come out all jumbled. So I’ve decided to write practically. Shut off the feelings part of my mind for a bit and write in a calm and logical manner. So here we go –

  1. Things have been kind of difficult because I’ve been at home, but I’m trying to deal with it. Usual stuff with mom, tbh.
  2. Christmas was fun but also not. It’s winter.
  3. I’ve been going through a bad phase again and I don’t know, I’m finding it harder than usual to talk to my friends so it’s just been hard. I spoke to my teacher and I have finally made another appointment with the psychologist for Feb 13. I’ve also met the councilor at college a few times and I’m going to meet her again once I get back to college. This is good. This is progress.
  4. I got an F in math last semester so I have to do the course again. So I’m taking it again next semester. Hopefully it’ll go better this time.
  5. I met some friends from high school. I don;t know how I feel about that. I actually feel too much and I can’t go into that right now. This is supposed to be calm and logical.
  6. I plan to keep myself really busy next semester. And I plan to attend classes. I have to get out of bed at a normal hour. I have to learn to do this on my own. I’ve taken up at few things outside of academics so that should keep me busy. I plan to do all my readings and stuff for class and eat meals on time etc so hopefully I’ll manage.
  7. 2016 has been a difficult, good, bad, eventful year and I want to write a post with a bit about every month like I did last year. Soon.
  8. I’m also so confused in terms of my crushes and shit. I don’t even know.
  9. Too many fucking feeling. I can’t.
  10. My writing quality has gotten so bad because I just can’t put my thoughts together. I hate it. I have to start writing properly again. I will start writing properly again.
  11. I can do this. Whatever this is.

Okay bye.

Good bits of 2016

2016 has been quite a year! Lots of changes, confusion, sadness, happiness, everything! And while yes, there have been a lot of not so good things, there have been some good ones. I’ve achieved things I’m proud of. So I’m going to try to list them in chronological order and so here we go –

  1. Got into most of the colleges I applied to. All but 1 actually. Got into art school also!!!
  2. Graduated high school pretty successfully with decent grades.
  3. Got a summer internship at a great NGO.
  4. Was clean of self harm for about 2 months.
  5. Started college. And made new friends.
  6. Managed to maintain friendships from high school that were important to me.
  7. Started going to a councilor. And just getting help in general. Or at least starting to. Or like starting to try to. Okay.
  8. Successfully completed at least 3 out of my four college courses.
  9. Got a job for the winter.
  10. Started writing in my black book which is currently my favorite thing.

Hmm that’s all I can think of right now but I think this is a lot of good stuff! This is good. I am slightly proud of me despite all the not so good things. 🙂

 

Summer before college (2016)

So my summer is almost over, just two more days left. And so i decided to go over everything that has happened this summer since school ended. I’ll try to go in chronological order. It’s been a weird summer in terms of so many thing starting and so many others ending but it’s been quite interesting so here we go –

  1. The week after school ended, I headed off to Goa with a bunch of my friends for my graduation trip. I wrote a bunch of posts about it which you can read here. It was so much fun and I made so many memories, it was great! Also, going on a trip with my friends was on my bucket list so I can cross it off now!
  2. I started my first internship on the 15th of June 2016  It was at an NGO and was quite fun and good experience.
  3. I met up with some friends from my old school. This included a girl who moved away a couple of years back. She is deaf and it used to be a bit difficult to understand her when she spoke and I was so worried I wouldn’t understand her cuz I hadn’t met her in so long but I did and it was great! Another friend who I used to be very close with also came which was great! We clicked a lot of pictures and went to Starbucks and it was great!
  4. I met one of my very best friends (shivz) and it was so much fun. She came over in the afternoon and stayed till like 10 at night and we had homemade food for lunch and ordered pizza for dinner. We watched a tv show for a while and talked and laughed. I love that girl so much!
  5. Then I met up with Kairo twice. She came over to my house once and on the other time we went out for lunch to a Burmese restaurant and the food was so good and the tea was amazing too! It was the last time I was seeing her in a while so it was nice to just hang out and relax and chill.
  6. My results came out which I am pretty happy with so that’s good. I did better than expected in some subjects and worse than expected in some but overall I was quite pleased.
  7. I got a haircut! This was huge for me cuz I got my hair cut really short and I’ve always had long hair and I got in straightened. Also, did I mention that the straightening took about 7 hours!? I wrote about it here.
  8. Started a new blog called Chai and Feminism. You guys can check it out if you want and also contribute if you like!
  9. Then I went for a short 2 day trip to Bangalore and you can read about it here.
  10. I met up with Shivz again and this time we just talked and clicked a lot of Polaroids and pictures and snapchat stuff which was fun!
  11. I met up with Mousey and SG and we watched Suicide Squad with a couple of other guys from our High School. It was pretty fun. Then said our good byes especially to Mousey cuz that was the last time I was seeing her till Idk when cuz she’s moved to NYC for college. Then SG and I hung out at a cafe for a couple of hours after which she came over to my house and then I went over to her house and then we finally said our goodbyes cuz she moved to New York as well. I am going to miss them quite a bit!
  12. Then college packing and stuff started. Buying and collecting stuff. Putting stuff in the suitcase all that. It’s been pretty exciting!
  13. Oh and a few days back we threw a surprise birthday party for Shivz which was amazing. It was the last time I was meeting her in a while too cuz she’s moving to Canada for college. We clicked a lot of pictures and had fun. I hung out with this guy friend who I hadn’t met in a couple of months which was nice too and I even talked to Annie. We ate pizza and chilled and then I asked the guy friend if we could click a picture and we were just messing around and ended up staging a Polaroid picture of him “proposing” to me with a box of chicken wings at which my friend said “You ain’t doing it right unless you’re proposing with chicken wings” and it was all really funny tbh!

And yeah that’s pretty much it! Besides all this I’ve just been on Tumblr, watching TV/movies, painting, blogging etc.

Updates! (and guest posts)

Hey!

So there’s a new post up on my new blog chai and feminism so here is the link https://chaiandfeminism.wordpress.com/2016/08/03/wcw-sheetal-sheth/ if you want to check it out!

Also, if any of you would like to guest post, then you are most welcome! You can write about anything related to the topics mentioned above including Woman Crush Wednesday, Throwback Thursday, poetry, personal stories (coming out stories, experiences with racism etc), about books with feminist/LGBT+ characters/themes etc. If you are interested leave a comment below or write to me at chaiandfeminism@gmail.com

Moving on now.


 

So updates on my life –

  1. A pretty close friend of mine got diagnosed with cancer. Lymphoma stage 3. And like yeah she was telling me how she’s just started chemo and how her hair is going to fall out and stuff and honestly, I didn’t really know what to say. I just tried to be encouraging and stuff. I’m going to visit her soon though. I told her to tell me when she’s feeling a little better and then I would go see her cuz right now she isn’t doing so well (obviously) and she’s also not allowed to go out too much. I don’t know how to help much except be as supportive and helpful as I can I guess. I’ll write more about this another time maybe.
  2. I’ve actually been feeling kinda low lately. I try not to dwell on it but it’s getting difficult. And like I haven’t cut in like 3 months, 2 weeks and 2 days which is amazing for me but I almost did last night but yeah I didn’t. I kinda remembered that trick that therapist I went to see once had taught me. Distance, Distract, Delay. Anyway, I’m not going to go into much detail about it right now but I’ll write another post about it soon.
  3. One of my best friends who is moving to Canada for college is coming over tomorrow to spend time with me which is great and this is probably like the second last time I’m going to be seeing her in a while.
  4. I got the new Harry Potter book but I’ve only read like 20-30 pages!
  5. So like whenever the topic of college comes up, my mom keeps saying that I have to visit every weekend and stuff and it’s getting really annoying. This is the reason I wanted to go really far away for college but oh well. College is only about two hours away so I guess I’ll have to come back pretty often but I am NOT coming home every weekend. I literally cannot wait to leave.
  6. I am planning a call with a tumblr friend of mine from the US which is quite exciting I guess.
  7. I feel like I use the word exciting or excitement way too much. Even when I am not excited. I feel like if I say I am then I will be which is weird. So for now, everything is exciting. Also, did I mention that nothing is exciting and I’m sad af. But I’m not allowed to be sad so instead everything is exciting ugh.

Okay I can literally feel a rant coming so I’m going to stop now. But I might post more later tonight.

Updates

So my stats page tells me that it has been 13 days since I last posted which is probably the longest I’ve ever gone without posting. And to be very honest, I don’t really feel like posting right now either but I’m going to. Cuz like later when I look back at my blog and try to create a time line of my teenage years, there’ll be this missing chunk of time and I don’t want that! SO I’m just going to write down some bullet points.

  1. Summer vacations are going on.
  2. I started my first internship on the 15th of June 2016. It’s at an NGO.
  3. I haven’t met any of my friends in like three weeks. I miss them but I feel like they don’t miss me.
  4. I’m very tired.
  5. I haven’t cut in 2 months and 2 days which is the longest I’ve gone in over a year.
  6. I read a book called The girl on the Train. I really liked it.
  7. My city is having a pride event which is very surprising cuz well it’s kinda a homophobic country so it’s good that we have this event thing and it’s 15 mins from where I live but it’s very likely that I won’t be able to go cuz I won’t get permission cuz well, my mom is slightly homophobic. Idk maybe  I’ll be able to go let’s see. I’ll try to figure something out.
  8. I miss my crush a lot.
  9. Idk I’m just really sad idk why but I keep trying to distract myself so idk. This post is so shit omg.
  10. I saw Finding Dory and it was so cute! Baby Dory was adorable!
  11. I joined the Facebook university group for my batch and got to read the introductions of a few people and speak to a couple of them and they seem nice I guess, idk. I’ll know better when I actually get there which is on August 20th.
  12. I bought some stuff for my dorm. Like bed-sheets and pillow cases and stuff.
  13. Annie and I aren’t friends anymore. This happened back in Goa but I just remembered so I thought I’d write it down. I’m not really sad about it or anything so yeah it’s fine I guess.
  14. I feel forgotten and I hate it.

Sorry this post is such a sob fest! Ugh, I’ll write soon. As soon as I feel better. Hope you guys are all doing well! I’m really sorry about being so behind on reading all your posts, I’ll try and catch up soon! Please comment links if there are any particular posts you’d like me to read. Thank you!

Exam Updates

So out of my 14 exams, I’m done with two which are the English ones. I think they went pretty okay. Actually I don’t really know. So my English exams are each two hours long. But somehow, I finished my first one in an hour and twenty minutes. So basically I either nailed it or failed it! I don’t know, I hope I did okay!

The second one, I took my time in. I found it slightly difficult but okay. I really want to do well in English so let’s see. I guess I will just have to wait till July 6th to find out.

I have my History exam tomorrow afternoon for which I should be studying right now but instead I’m sitting and writing this! But I think I’ll manage to prepare okay for it.

Also, I’ve been slightly sick and this is the worst possible time to be sick but honestly, I should have expected it! I always always fall sick during exams. Every single time. But thankfully this time it’s not very bad.

I hope you guys are all doing well! And I have to go study now. Ugh.

~Updates~

Okay so even though life has pretty much been kinda dull, I feel like writing an updates post so here goes –

  1. 16 days till finals and 35 days till the end of finals!!! I can’t wait to be done.
  2. I am terrified of writing on group chats. Honestly they are too much stress. I have to proofread my messages a million times and idk it’s all too much but I wrote on a group chat today! I actually spoke to people!
  3. I haven’t cut for almost over a month sort of. Okay so I’ll explain. I promised myself on March 4th that I wouldn’t cut till prom which was on the 7th of April. I couldn’t keep the promise and I cut on 16th March. But then I didn’t again till prom and so that was sort of a month with one relapse. But it’s 15th today and I still haven’t cut and so it’s actually a month from the last time! But I am so desperate to cut I don’t know how I’m managing but I am.
  4. I’ve been watching so many movies when I should actually been studying. I’ve seen about 6 of them in the past couple of days!
  5. I have to make my college decision this weekend!!! I really hope I make the right choice!
  6. So like we had a new year thing yesterday. It’s basically a new year thing of the place I come from sort of. I’m not sure how to explain it. Anyway, we didn’t really celebrate yesterday cuz we were all really busy. Really early in the morning before school, we watched this new year program that comes on TV on the regional channel but that’s it. But today, my grandmother is making this kind of traditional dish that I love for Lunch and I’m quite excited! Only her and me are at home for Lunch so she made something I like but my sis doesn’t! I really love this food actually! It’s basically potatoes cooked with/in poppy seeds idk how else to explain it but it’s delicious!
  7. I haven’t drawn/painted anything since end of January when I submitted my Art portfolio. I literally haven’t even opened my art stuff or anything. I miss it but at the same time I haven’t been in the mood and haven’t had time either. To be honest, this will sound a little stupid but I feel like I’m done. Like I don’t want to draw or paint at all again. Idk.
  8. I’m thinking of making a blog email so I can talk to more people while remaining anonymous. I think I will actually. Maybe this weekend or like soon.

Hmm that’s about it. Pretty dull, I know. I should go study ugh :/

Life stuff.

So life has been hectic, really hectic and I have hardly blogged in the past few days. Like I’m posting after 5 days so yeah I’ve been busy. And I really kinda like writing these update posts cuz it’s a way for me to record all the events in my life. So here goes –

  1. My exams have been going on. Even though I am currently on mid term break, I have been studying/working a lot. I already finished 5 of my exams – 2 English papers, 2 Spanish papers and 1 environmental studies paper. After this short break I have 9 more exams to go. 3 psychology papers, 3 history papers, 2 math papers and 1 more environmental studies paper. SO yeah it’s a lot of work and I’m tired. Very tired of studying and I’m so over school!
  2. I STILL haven’t finished my History assignment but I am definitely going to finish it today. Only a little bit is left.
  3. I gave my prom dress to the tailor finally and I like the design a lot and I hope it turns out really nice! I also bought a nice new black color blouse for my Saree for graduation night. I still haven’t actually decided which Saree I want to wear. I think I’m either going to wear a black Saree or a purple one but Idk I’m not sure yet. I love wearing Sarees so let’s see!
  4. I went to this really nice little bookstore the other day. It was this tiny round thing full of books. My mom used to go there back in her college days and surprisingly the shopkeeper recognized her even though she hadn’t gone there for almost 20 yrs! I loved the place so much and I ended up buying 5 books!                             
  5. I applied to 12 colleges in total. It might be a little much but I was so terrified that I wasn’t going to get in so I applied to a lot of schools! So out of that 11 of them were in the U.S. and one in my own country. So out of that I got into 10 schools, got rejected from 1 and I’m still waiting to here back from 1. And out of the 10 schools, I got scholarships from 7 of them so I’m quite happy about that. I really want to go to the one if the colleges in the U.S. but I don’t know if that’s possible because they are a bit expensive and my mom doesn’t want me to go so I might end up in the one in my own country which I don’t really want to be in but if i have to then I will and I will make myself happy here. So anyway, let’s see what happens! 🙂
  6. I’ve been really like in a weird mood. And like idk, angry at how shitty things are and just annoyed with shit. So that’s kinda why I haven’t been blogging cuz I didn’t want to write a negative post and I also wasn’t really feeling up to talking to anyone about it cuz like just feeling weird. And then finally a couple of days back I finally talked to my friend and she was so nice and encouraging and she said all these things about how I’m a really strong person and I can get through this shit and I should fight to make my dreams work and all that and I actually felt a lot better after it so that’s good.
  7. I suddenly feel sad but I’ll find a way to make myself feel happy again. Or I should just force myself to study again.

Sorry, this post is shit ugh.