Moving on…

I have this friend, or actually used to have this friend I was really close to. We became friends in preterm, which was a month and half long program meant for students who were new to this school and the IB Program. You know sometimes you just instantly click with some people, we were like that. We started hanging out together from day 1 of preterm. It used to be a lot of fun as there wasn’t really any serious studies just hanging around school and passing time! It used to be her, me and and 2 of our friends, we used to always hang out together. And then summer vacations started. We kept in touch through Whatsapp and emails and stuff. Then the session began in august and we were really excited. She was in my Form room so it was cool and all. Now, obviously, as the new session began, new people joined the school and our friend circle expanded and now it was 7 of us. It was still good, till all of this shit started. So basically, suddenly this friend of mine started avoiding me and kind of distancing herself from me. And not only her but my entire friend circle. And this was really weird for me because I thought that we were all friends I used to genuinely like them. At first it was just little things, then later it became things like not wanting to hang out with me and stuff. Even at lunch, whenever I said something, I was ridiculed and humiliated. So after a point I just stopped talking to them at lunch. And then, I kind of realized that they did not want me around at all. Like they started having all these inside jokes and all these secret things and whispering to each other when I was around. I would have understood it coming from anyone else but not this friend of mine. I really though that we were friends. So when you are made to feel so unwelcome what do you do? All of this behavior of theirs really hurt me. If you don’t want me around then just tell me, please don’t be rude and mean and hurtful. So now, I don’t really like anyone from that circle of friends except this friend of mine. And I miss her, But i don’t need people in my life who make me feel like shit.

And the worst part is, I kind of feel replaced. Its so stupid that I miss people who treated me so badly. Every time I used to try to talk,  either I was made fun of or just plain outright ignored. I never said it to them, but it hurt me so much.

But, I need to really move on and make new friends, because I don’t need anyone who doesn’t need me. So yeah, even though I miss them, I am not going back to being friends with people who make me feel bad about myself and make me feel like there’s something wrong with me.