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Back to School.

Ivy12 Comments

I’m freaking out. Big time. I’m so scared for tomorrow. School starts tomorrow. I feel so unprepared. I can’t do this. I’m not ready for this!!!

I can’t deal with going back and seeing everyone at school. Everyone has had such amazing productive summers and I’ve done nothing. My summer has been shit compared to everyone else’s. I know I shouldn’t be comparing my summer to other people’s but i feel like I’ve done nothing worthwhile this summer. I’m scared. I haven’t even done all the work I needed to finish and that’s no one’s fault but mine. I’ve been so out of it all summer. I’ve totally ignored everything I needed to do. I don’t know why. I’ve just been so busy with all the other shit going on in my life. God, I’m freaking out so much. I need to study!!!

I had to lose weight this summer. I had to. I had planned to. But yeah, that didn’t work out for me! And now I have to eat lunch at school. That means I have to eat in front of a lot of people, people I call my friends. I can’t do it. I’m not ready for it. I am freaking out like crazy. Oh my God!!!

I had to write my extended essay, my math Internal assessment, and my History assessment. I had to re-read my English texts, practice Spanish, study Environmental systems and societies. And out of that I did nothing! Yeah, I’m not exaggerating when I say nothing.  I thought that I would read a lot at least but I didn’t even do that. I read 1 book. That’s all. One book in 2 months. I’ve wasted all of my summer just doing stupid things. Crying and obsessing over shit and trying to fucking sort out my life! I should have studied. You cannot believe how much I’m freaking out right now. God, I need to breathe.

I am not ready for school to start yet!!! I am not ready for senior year. Tomorrow is going to be my last first day of school!

12 thoughts on “Back to School.”

  2. Hey there. It’s going to be okay. Really. Just breathe. An amazing factoid that I have picked up in my forty plus years on earth: most of those people you see out there that look like they have all of their shit together…they don’t. They are complete fakers, just like us. I figure that is why so many people nowadays lash out at others. It’s because they don’t have it together and can’t handle that fact as well as you do. So don’t sweat today. It will be fine. Just hang in there for now. Things get way better when you are out of school. I promise.

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  3. You got this! Like you said, don’t compare yourself to others’ vacations; sometimes, the best vacations are just relaxing at home! Things will work out for you senior year; I would say that, from my experiences, senior year was better than junior year. I wish you the best, and I hope you continue blogging throughout the school year as well!

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    • Thank you! I’m just a bit nervous but I did actually enjoy relaxing at home is my vacations. And yeah, I am hoping my senior year is good. I will be blogging throughout but the frequency of my posts will depend on the amount of school work I have. Thanks! 🙂

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  5. Hey, it’s going g to be okay. You’ll do great. And relaxing g in Summer is okay. After k, that’s the only break you’re going. to get in another few looooooooong months

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