Old Friends

Till about grade 5 or 6, I used to hang out with a girl who used to live near me. We used to actually be best friends! We would hang out together every evening and play games and talk and whatever. Then she moved away. Even though she moved within the city, I didn’t have a way of keeping in touch with her at that point. Recently, I found her on Instagram and started talking again.

Through her, I got in touch with another old friend of mine cuz they are now best friends! This other friend I knew till about grade 3 and we used to be best friends back then too.So basically I reconnected with two people I used to really love. And we’ve been talking a bit and like getting to know each other again and reminiscing about stuff.

But then today I found out that my friend (the one I knew in grade 6) is moving away to Australia. And Idk I feel sad. I mean I was just starting to get to know her again and I wish she wasn’t leaving again! I mean this time I have ways to keep in touch and stuff but still. If she was here then we could have met and stuff but we can’t now!

It’s weird cuz we aren’t even that close and it’s affecting me so much idek. I’m too  emotional! I just wish we had reconnected sooner or talked more or something!

Feel

Go to a party and stay sober. Listen to the way your drunk classmates talk when they don’t plan to remember tonight when they wake up. Never talk about these experiences, just keep them for yourself.

Start driving in one direction on the highway after school one day, pretending like you’re running away. Blast bad pop music and sing along. Stop in the suburbs when your mom calls you to come home, but buy your little brother a cupcake before you turn back around.

Kiss your best friend. It doesn’t matter what sexuality or gender you are or they are. It doesn’t matter if it’s a peck or you escalate to tongue. You’ll laugh about it later, but it will always make you smile just for the memory.

Smoke a cigarette. Let it burn your throat. Cough, loudly.

Take a stand for something you believe in. When half your school laughs at you, take it with pride. Someone agrees, even if they’re too scared to say so.

Make enemies. Make the kind of mistakes that cause your life to implode. Lose everyone and everything to these mistakes. Only when you fall will you find out that you can pick yourself back up.

Sit on someone’s roof and talk for hours. Forget about dinner and tell your origin stories. Let your guard down while the dog barks below. Talk about god. Listen.

Steal Bourbon from your parents’ liquor cabinet and put it in a water bottle beneath your bathroom sink. Spike your tea with it when you think you’ve hit rock bottom. Pour the whole thing down the drain when it’s too strong for you.

Become a stereotype. Buy a record player and combat boots. Wear all black. Dye your hair bright blue and get your ear pierced three times. Don’t care when people laugh at you.

Make wishes at 11:11. Wear your pajamas backwards in the hopes of a snow day. Look for answers at the bottom of a bottle. Pretend writing things on your arms makes you special. Believe in anything. Believe in everything. Open every book and look around every corner. You’ll never look like this or move like this or think like this again. Enjoy it while it lasts or hate every second. But feel. Feel every damn thing.

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Found this on Tumblr and I loved it! 🙂

College Decisions!

College decision deadline is coming up really soon. May 1st for most of my colleges and April 25th for one of them! Everyone around me seems to have made their final decisions and knows where they are going and what they are doing and now I’m starting to panic a little tbh.

The most important factor for me right now is the financing of the college tuition and living expenses and how far the college is from home and from New York. If I choose to go to the college in my own country, then I can easily afford it but I’ll be really close to home which I don’t want and really far away from New York which again, I don’t want. And also going to study abroad has been my dream forever, if I stay here, I’m giving up on that dream, at least for now.

Then the next option is one of the two schools which are slightly cheaper in comparison to the other schools. Both in incredibly cold places and not amazing schools and quite far away from New York. Then there are a couple of them that are decent schools. Expensive but not entire out of question. But I don’t like the locations but if I have no other choice then I’ll go there and work as hard as possible and maybe get a transfer later idk let’s see.

Then the next option is schools that are kinda expensive and if I go there then I have to take out loans and get a job and work a lot and do major scrimping on everything. And I mean that. Like cut down costs everywhere possible. I’ll have to get a job anywhere I go but things will be quite tight if I go to any of these schools. But I love these schools.Especially two of them, one is New York (not the city, the state) and one in Pennsylvania. I like the locations. I really want to go but I don’t know if I can afford either of them.

And then of course, there is the art school. Extremely expensive and definitely not affordable and I’ve pretty much given up on that one but like it’s still kind of like this little tiny dream but I know I can get over that.

So I’m not really any close to making a decision but at least in my mind I’ve kinda sorted things out for myself. Wow, writing this post really helped me sort stuff out!