Texting

You know this thing about how you can no longer call people because it is not “chill” enough and you have to always text only. Well I think this rule is stupid. Texting gives me so much anxiety. It really drives me crazy thinking if I can text first or not and how long do you have to wait to reply! Yes that’s another thing I thing stupid, why do you have to wait a few minutes before you reply! Like why, what’s the point? I wanted a quick reply and that’s why I sent a message and not a letter!

Today I texted with 5 people and two of them I text regularly so that was fine but the other three I don’t text much. Or ever really! Maybe on rare occasions. And my goodness, the amount of anxiety it gave me! I was so worried, did they see my text? Did they reply? Why din’t they reply? Did they not want to reply? Am I bothering them? Specially because I was the first one to text. Oh god! But I am so proud of myself today! I actually texted three people. I initiated conversation and made plans to meet with three people. It might seem like a big deal, but it is for me! It was so important for me. But I just think that texting is not worth so much anxiety that it gives me but its the only way to keep in touch with people nowadays so I guess I’ll have to deal! Omg, I can’t believe I texted three people today! wow! Okay, don’t judge me, this is a big deal for me.

Summer

So summer break finally started and I am so relived! Well break started on the 26th of may so this post is a little late but still! The past academic year has been a crazy roller coaster ride! I have had a million things on my mind ranging from my grades to college applications to social life and what not! But I am finally done with grade 11 and just one more year of school left!

The last year has been so incredibly busy with so much work happening. My grades went down a little compared to when the year started but I think I got back on track near the end. I actually think I made some friends by then end of the year and overall it has been a good year but I have been so desperate for a break! And it’s finally here. Yay! Though it is going to be a extremely busy break. I have to do an internship, go for SAT classes and I want to do some volunteer work! Plus I have all these internal assessments to work on and of course, not to forget my extended essay! Plus I want to learn how to used Adobe Photoshop and InDesign. And then there is this art diploma I have been doing and the final 3rd year exam is this summer. I also need to prepare a resume and think about college applications!

I also really need to catch up with some old friends so that should be fun and relaxing! I have been drawing and painting a lot lately which has been fun. I had not done that for so long thanks to my amazing schedule! For the past week literally all I have been doing is eating, sleeping, blogging, painting and chatting with my friends! It has been pretty relaxing tbh. Just one more week maybe and then I need to start working on all these things. I also plan a study a bit just to be ahead of things on the academic front.

Ahh I am so looking forward to the summer! I am kinda trying to plan to meet up with a few of my friends also. School reopens in the end of July so two moths of bliss, hopefully!

Questions and Answers!

So a few posts back, I had asked people to ask me random questions and I would answer them. I got so many questions to answer, a few anonymous questions, a few from WordPress bloggers and some more from my friends in real life and some of the questions were pretty similar so I combined them. Sorry if I missed out any! So here are the answers –

Q 1 – What is your favourite colour?

My favourite colours are Black, Blue, Red, Purple and some shades of Pink.

Q 2 – How Did you find out you were gay?

I took the test, obviously!

Haha, I don’t know. I just kinda had a crush on a girl and then I just though that okay, maybe I am bi but then later I figured that I wasn’t into guys at all and so I figured that I was gay!

Q 3 – Have you always known you liked girls?/When did you find out you were gay?

No, I have not always known I was gay but I definitely always knew there was something different about me. I din’t have crushes on guys like all my friends did! So when I was about 14, the thought that I might be bi first came into my mind but it terrified me and so I buried it and refused to think about it. Then last year, I started accepting it a little and started to understand myself better and figured that I was gay.

Q 4 – How do you plan to tell your family?

I don’t plan to tell them anytime soon but when I do, I was thinking I might make a cake and write “I’M GAY!!” on it! Or maybe I could hide in a real closet and come out of it holding a banner saying  “I’M GAY!!” or maybe even a rainbow flag! Or maybe I’ll just tell them in a letter or an email. I really don’t know.

    

Also, How did you tell your parents you were straight!?

Q 5 – Who are your favourite movie stars?

My favourite movie stars have to be Angelina Jolie, Mila Kunis and Olivia Wilde. I like Leonardo DiCaprio also.

Q 6 – Will you ever tell your crush you like them?

Being the shy kid I am, probably not! Well I might, maybe on the day I graduate or something just to get it off my chest and to not keep thinking what could have been.

Q 7 – How do you feel now that you admit you’re gay as compared to when you thought you were straight?

Wow! Umm,I guess I am kinda relieved to know that there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m just gay! I don’t really know how I feel, I’m cool with it, I guess? Sorry, I really don’t know how to answer this question.

Q 8 – Do you think you could be gay because your dad left at a young age?

Yup! You got it! That’s exactly why I’m gay.

Omg, No of course not! It’s just the way I am. It has nothing to do with my dad. I don’t even see the slightest connection between the two! This is almost really funny to me! I really don’t get how they could be connected.

Q 9 – What made you come out and openly admit that you’re gay?

Umm, I guess I just got tired of hiding it. And I felt that if people can’t accept me as I am then I don’t need them in my life and so I am not going to hide such an important part of my life anymore (well, I am not totally out to everyone but I’m getting there!). And also, there is this girl in my school who is bi and she has a girlfriend and she doesn’t hide it. She flaunts it and is perfectly happy about it. So I just felt that if she can do it, if she has the courage to come out, then so can I!

Q 10 – How many girls have you dated since you found out that you were gay? / Have you dated any girls?

I’ve dated two girls. But nothing serious. The first one lasted only about 3 weeks. I still hadn’t told anyone. I was really scared and I hid it from everyone.It wasn’t a nice feeling and I wasn’t ready for it at that time. The second one was a little better, lasted about 2 months. This one, a few people knew about but again it wasn’t going anywhere.

Q 11 – What is the weirdest thing that went into your mouth as a kid? 

Umm, Once a mosquito almost went into my mouth! Almost. It was still so eww. 

Q 12 – What would you say is your best quality? Personality wise.

I guess it has to be either the fact that I am loyal as F to my friends and will defend them like crazy if you say anything bad about them or the fact that I am really really honest.

Q 13 – How did you and GS become friends?

[For those of you who don’t know, GS is one of my oldest and possibly one of my closest friends]

We became friends back in 4th Grade. We used to go to the same school, lived in the same neighborhood and were in the same bus. And yet I was too shy to talk to her. And she was quite shy too. So my grandmother, knowing I would never initiate a conversation myself, invited her over to play, without telling or asking me! So she came over after lunch around 2 30 and we decided to play Monopoly. And yes, both of us sucked at it, we were in 4th grade after all. The game went on and on and on and she ended up staying till about 6. Then my grandmother told me to have milk and she offered it to GS also and she agreed to have some. And then I asked her whether she wanted to go to play in the park and she said she did and so I introduced her to some of my other friends. It was a super fun evening and since then we kind of just stuck together!

Q 14 – What do you intent to do after you are done with school?

Why, oh why do people insist on asking me this!? I don’t even know what I am going to do this evening let alone what I am going to do with my life after school. Like I can’t even decide if I want pasta for dinner or pizza, how am I supposed to make such important life choices already? WHY?

Okay, So I am done over reacting now. I think I probably want to do something either relating to Psychology, English, Anthropology, History, or Art or something! I don’t know.

Okay, So that’s that! I hope I answered everyone’s questions and if I missed out any, leave it in the comments and I will address them.