Blue says say thank you instead of sorry which makes sense because gratitude is better than guilt but they both start with G so maybe I get confused because all I seem to be able to say is sorry sorry sorry.
Even when I can’t breathe and I can’t talk the only think I seem to be able to say is sorry it almost feels like guilt is my default it’s always my fault that’s what I’ve learnt all my life my mom can’t be wrong about this.
Spent many years not talking but when I did start talking somehow it always felt like I should sit up like no one wants to hear the shit you say like no one cares so sorry if I’m bothering you sorry I talk too much sorry I got excited sorry.
Somehow I still keep apologising for things that happened in April and it’s been three months but the guilt refuses to leave so I text in the middle of the night and say sorry but then I feel the need for saying sorry for saying sorry and you see this could go on forever.
“Don’t say sorry” Oh okay sorry!