There is a lot of anger and resentment and excitement and sadness and love and emotion in me but I am unable to express it. I am unable to write about it. I’m unable to write about love and it’s killing me. Nothing I write seems worth writing and I am tired. I need to write like I used to. More raw, more honest.
I think I’m just scared that if I start being honest, I’ll realize I’m more fucked up than I thought and writing things will just make them real. I need to write though. I need to write. And goddammit I need to write about her and how into her I am but I fucking can’t cuz everything seems not enough but at the same time I want to write about anything but her and I can’t handle this.
Maybe I need a break?