Okay so this is something I’ve been avoiding talking about and I’m still not gonna go into much detail. (But yeah I will be writing about it in the next few days but anyway back to the point of this post.)
The thing is, I’ve been having really bad panic attacks this past semester. And I’m really working on it, I’ve been going to therapy v regularly and everything. But yeah, it’s been quite bad. Like ranging from 1 to 5 a day. So bad that sometimes I can’t even walk and just have to sit down on the floor in classrooms, in corridors, in the mess, basically wherever. And often times I’m even unable to sit through classes and often just walk out. Thankfully, my profs have been quite understanding about it.
So anyway, my point is, I’m so lucky to be surrounded by such caring people. I’ve had people who I’ve never spoken to come sit next to me and hold my hand and get me water and just sit with me. I’ve had friends come to me all the way from the other end of campus. I’ve had people get me my stuff and share notes. I’ve had people buy me nimbu paani and give me their water bottles and read stuff out for me. I’ve had people coming to find me on the bridge in the night when they know I’m not doing very okay. I’ve had friends skip (shitty) parties and just sit with me. And I’m so fucking grateful. And so lucky to have these people around me. I’ve genuinely made so many friends like this. People just noticing when I’m not okay and just being kind and helping me and just holding my hand through the rough bits and reminding me to breathe. I don’t know, maybe this is why I say that I’ve found home?