I was going through my old emails today. From 2013. Okay I wasn’t just going through old emails, I specifically searched up her name to read the emails.
I do this sometimes. Search up her name on Google and read the articles that come up about the terrorist attack that killed her, about the amazing work she used to be as an NGO worker, about her life. Martha was a phenomenal woman, so passionate about the work she did and so kind and compassionate.
In may 2015, she was in Kabul for some work where she was killed in a terrorist attack. I fucking miss her so much sometimes. I know that what I feel is nothing compared to what her husband and children feel and I’m so sorry about that.
I actually write about her on this blog every Easter, cuz she and I shared a special Easter tradition. I don’t want to go into it right now but I miss her so much. As a young teenager, she was the one of the very few people who made me feel like what I was saying was important. She used to write me such thoughtful emails and answer all my questions as I inquired about her PHD and her children and the world. In return she’d ask me about school and my relationship with my sister and and tell me all her travel stories. She made me feel worth something.
She used to often tell me that we should meet but we never did end up meeting. The last time I met her, I must have been in grade 3 or 4. I wish I had met her just once. One of those many times she said we should plan something.
I just really miss her so much. I don’t know why today. The patience with which she spoke to me over emails, her kindness, I don’t think Ill ever forget that.
(I miss you, Martha aunty. I miss you so much. I really want to email you right now, talk like we used to. Please? I want to tell you about college and how much I love it and hate it. I want to tell you that I’ve been learning about gender and I want to read some of your work. I want to know what you have been up to. I really just want to talk to you. Just one last time, please?)
Here is the link to the foundation set up in her memory – http://www.marthafarrellfoundation.org/