I sometimes wonder about my dad. What does he do now? Does he think about us? Does he ever tell anyone about us? Does he tell people he has children or not? When other people talk of their children, does he mention us?
Does he feel sad? What does he feel when he sends us cards on our birthdays? What emotion is associated with them? Does he ever feel like contacting us? Why did he do all the shit he did? Does he still drink? Is he satisfied? Is he sick? I heard he was sick.
I also sometimes wonder whether I really want an answer? Maybe I’ll find the answers someday when I really absolutely need to know, I don’t know.