Weren’t you supposed to make things better? 
All sunshiny and warm. Not like the glaring sun burning my skin but like happy sunshine. 

Weren’t you supposed to make the days better? You know the kind of days that go by in a haze and you don’t exactly remember what happened or what you did but you just remember that they were happy? Or did I just make that up in my head? 

Weren’t you supposed to drive the depression and anxiety to hidden corners of the night and full the days with ice cream and friends. Weren’t you supposed to make me feel not lonely? So why is it that even though you’re here, the depression still creeps in in the middle of the day and I still feel alone and summer doesn’t feel like summer. 

Sometimes I feel like I made it all up. I wanted it so badly that I made myself believe that I had it. 

The summer walks with my friends and the sneaking around and eating ice cream with my sister. The water fights when we were younger and the sweaty bus rides filled with chatter. I don’t even know if all this really happened. Did it? Can you make it all better now? You’re supposed to make it all better now, it’s not cold anymore. 


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