All I Could Do

My sister and I slept in my mom’s room that night.

We left the dining room light on.

The phone rang sometime around half past 2

And we knew.

In hushed voices my mom told me take care of my sister

(like that needed to be said)

and she went to wake dida up.

Sometimes I feel like I wasn’t me in those few days.

Well I was me but it was strange, more mechanical.

When his body was brought home for the last rites

I was told to stay in the kids’ room with my sister and cousin

The room door opened, my mother had come to get something.

13 year old me, very curious; peeked outside.

Heard someone wailing.

I was wearing black shorts and an off white top that day.

I insisted I wanted to go for the cremation.


Sorry this is such a disjointed piece. I was pretty much just thinking and typing and I usually don’t like these kinds of things cuz I don’t want to edit my thinking. I don’t know if that makes sense but yeah. Also, “All I Could Do” is the tittle of a song by Kimya Dawson and I was listening to it while writing and I think it fits perfectly!

 

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2 thoughts on “All I Could Do

  1. brilliant writing.
    and don’t worry about the disjointedness, it adds to this piece very well. disjointed like scraps of memories that we try to stitch together, make sense of.

    Liked by 1 person

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