Sometimes everything just feels kind of numb. I have no other way of describing it. It’s like sitting quietly and staring at the wall and feeling nothing. It’s just strangely empty.
It’s strange cuz I open my books and I sir down to study and an hour passes by and I’m just staring at the page and I haven’t read a word but I haven’t done anything else either and I don’t know where the time went.
I have difficult writing these days. My thoughts come out all confused and I’m not sure what I’m saying and it’s not happy and it’s not sad. It just is. When I used to be sad, I never found it difficult to vent. I wrote really long blog posts and I felt better after that. Now I sit down to write and I have no motivation to even put those thoughts down. I just sort of shut them out and that’s not very healthy. I guess to some extent I’ve become a little more conscious about people reading this stuff but ive decided that I don’t care anymore. I’m going to write no matter how sad/cheesy it turns out to be. Writing is like therapy to me.
Oh that reminds me, I have an appointment with the college psychologist/councillor on Monday. Exciting stuff, isn’t it!?
Also, I’m sick. physically. I have a terrible cold and ugh. I had to attend an event for my sister today (more on that later) and besides that I’ve been in bed all day. I’m going to probably sleep early too. And I have a lot of work I need to finish this weekend so I should stop ranting and go work hm? Okay.