College starts day after tomorrow and to be very honest I’m quite exhausted right now but I have to write this.
I went back to my high school today to get some papers and stuff. It was a really weird experience. I always thought that going back there would make me miss it terribly cuz while I hated it, I also loved it. I made good friends, I learned quite a bit and not just from my books and classes. But I didn’t miss it. I felt kind of like
I did my time there and it was time for me to move on. I felt like I was done with this place. I guess one of the reasons for this was that there were hardly any familiar faces around. All my friends have left too and the two teachers I really like (more on this later) have also left. So it all felt very familiar and at the same time, alien.
And yes, I’ll admit it, I still felt a bit intimidated. Walking in the high school corridors always intimated me and I thought that that would be gone by now, but apparently not and I guess that’s okay. I’m just going to attribute that to the bad experiences I’ve had there.
So there was this cabin that was my English teacher’s room. She was one of my favorite teacher and I really wanted to go back to the room and see what it was like now and who sat there but I stopped myself. I have a lot of memories in that room. Sitting there and crying my eyes out or sitting and studying in exam time or just talking to my teacher. Going to her room, well what used to be her room without her being there felt weird. I miss her a lot, to be honest. I was supposed to meet her but couldn’t due to a number of reasons but maybe I will sometime next month.
Another thing that I was thinking of was going to see who uses our history class now. I used to love my history class (also sometimes hate cuz I didn’t understand a lot but I tried and well I think I did learn a lot by the end of the year). My history teacher has also left and idk, I felt weird going to even look at that class cuz it wasn’t our history class anymore. I don’t even know if I’m making sense right now but oh well. We have had so many amazing conversations in that classroom ranging from stuff actually about history to everything else I can think of. And it’s one of the places I really felt comfortable in, in my high school. I wasn’t scared of judgement and it was one of the first classes that I made friends in and even came out to! Like I don’t know what to say but, yeah I actually don’t know what to say!
Anyway, to end this huge rambling post, I guess my point was that I’ve had great times there and really terrible ones. But the school building are just that to me now, buildings. Stone and cement and I don’t even know what else (construction material really isn’t my thing!) For me what made school what it was was the amazing people I met who inspired me in numerous ways, including inspiring me to write this post. And I’m happy to have known them but at the same time I’m also glad to have moved on and I cannot wait for college to start!