Being, well, not straight(?)

Okay so the tittle of this post is kinda weird. For more than one reason. Firstly, I don’t know how I identify exactly so initially I was gonna write gay or lesbian then I thought that I should write LGBT but then nothing fit so I wrote not straight. And secondly, I don’t really like the word straight cuz it somehow implies that people who are lgbt are not straight and somehow like idk twisted or messed up idk. But like for the purpose of this post I’ll refer to myself as being gay cuz I think that fits me best and I’m most comfortable with that right now. Anyway, moving on.

So honestly, I’ll never say this again cuz I like to be proud of myself for who I am but I have to say this once. I hate not being straight sometimes. I hate it so much. And I also hate that I hate it. Cuz like it would be so much easier to be straight. Less complications and difficulties when it comes to this part of their lives. I mean like I hate having to come out to anyone. I hate that homosexuality is kinda illegal in my country. And like idk I’m just ranting.

Tbh, I comparatively had it easy in terms of coming out cuz most of my friends were very accepting and I didn’t even have to come out to everyone as it automatically just spread through my grade through rumors and shit. But like if I had to come out in my old school, it would have been a whole other story and it wouldn’t have been easy.

And like idk you know how all my friends talk about guys and so I just feel slightly weird if I want to talk about girls. Then they say yeah but you can’t relate or something weird idk. and like when my friends talk about guys and be like oh that guy is so hot and I just laugh and say yeah. And I’m scared to actually be really friendly with people I’m not very close to cuz I don’t want them to feel strange when and if I do come out to them idk.

And like I see all these straight couple shows on tv and omg there are literally so many of them but hardly any shows with a story-line that revolves around lgbt characters and I hate that cuz I really just wanna see a cute lesbian love story and relate to that or whatever.

Idk I just sometimes wish I was straight. ugh. I shouldn’t wish that and I usually don’t but like I do sometimes and I get really frustrated when I do cuz like I don’t want to feel like this. Anyway, I should stop now cuz this post is really shitty and badly edited ugh but I can’t be bothered to edit right now, sorry.


22 thoughts on “Being, well, not straight(?)

  1. I am in complete agreement with you there, I really hate the word straight (although I am. But when I say straight I just mean I’m into people of the opposite sex not I’m ‘perfect’ and ‘normal’ and gay or bisexual people aren’t because I consider everyone to be my complete equal) and I feel so disgusting when I refer to myself as ‘straight’ because that’s giving in to the discrimination and inequality that the world suffers from. But it’s easier to call myself straight than heterosexual and I hate myself for it… Sorry. I just wanted to say that πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, it’s okay. You can love whoever the heck you love! This post shows just why we need more LGBT representation especially in media. I know it would get hard sometimes and some people might not accept you, but if you can accept yourself I think that’s wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Don’t worry about defining yourself. You shouldn’t have to. Love is love and that is it. You shouldn’t have to say you only fall in love with men or you only fall in love with women. Life is a huge journey. And love is a huge part of that, you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are. Because you are truly very great ❀❀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It can be extremely hard to find oneself especially in a country where this kind of freedom is well…banned.
    It should never matter who you choose to love, it’s YOUR decision after all, it’s YOUR LIFE.
    You’re awesome, and your sexuality doesn’t define you. You’re so much more than who you choose to love. Don’t let anyone get to you πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The representation of gay stories, especially between women, is very rare. For a bit I really wanted to read about women falling in love and I found only one good novel that is YA (because I was in the YA mood too). It is really under spoken-about

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I didn’t even come out until I was 20!
    I understand your fears and anxieties but you’ll become more comfortable with yourself over time.

    I used to hate that I was not straight when I was a teenager. I hated myself and wish my life could be easier, as you said. But then you grow up. And you meet people who love you and accept you. And then YOU fall in love. And it’s amazing. And you never want to be straight. Because being gay is such a unique and special way of seeing the world. I wouldn’t want to change that about myself.

    But I live in America and in a city that is very accepting of LGBT people. If the country you live in makes being gay a nightmare, then I’m so sorry. ;(

    It sucks right now. I know it does. But as clichΓ© as this sounds, give it time and it will get better.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I can relate to what you say on a personal plane bc I’m still on the path of figuring myself out. Sometimes I’m attracted to guys, sometimes I’m attracted to girls. And honestly I don’t see the problem with it. I live in India and here LGBTQ is legit a crime. They’re working on it and stuff, but what about till then? And I don’t get the point of being against homosexuality. I mean how does it affect everyone else’s lives? It’s who I am and you can either suck it up or leave. I haven’t even talked about this to anyone cuz 1) I’m not really sure what I am probably because I wasn’t raised in a world where being LGBT is normal and 2) no one will understand and it’ll just go downhill from there.

    but honestly, people need to grow up.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think gay people should have as much right to marry as heterosexual people. Why can’t gay people marry a member of their sex if they want to? Gay people can’t help the way that they are, so why do some people feel the need to judge them?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Gay people can’t help the fact that they are the way they are. Nor should they try to. I am not into the gay lifestyle personally, however, I would never advocate by force of law denial of the right of gay people to marry. For people who are against same sex marriage, here is some free advice: Mind your own business. Another thing is that gay and lesbian people should feel no need to justify the fact that they are the way they are.


  10. I’m married to a man ….. and my mind and body is crying out for a woman touch …. everyone can see it in my paintings since I’m an artist . I can’t wait to come out .

    Liked by 1 person

  11. For any people who read this that are anti-LGBTQ, here are a few questions for consideration: 1: If same sex marriages will never devalue your marriages, why do you oppose them? 2: Since gay and lesbian people don’t go around flaunting their sexuality, why act as if their personal lives are any of your business?


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