Okay so the tittle of this post is kinda weird. For more than one reason. Firstly, I don’t know how I identify exactly so initially I was gonna write gay or lesbian then I thought that I should write LGBT but then nothing fit so I wrote not straight. And secondly, I don’t really like the word straight cuz it somehow implies that people who are lgbt are not straight and somehow like idk twisted or messed up idk. But like for the purpose of this post I’ll refer to myself as being gay cuz I think that fits me best and I’m most comfortable with that right now. Anyway, moving on.
So honestly, I’ll never say this again cuz I like to be proud of myself for who I am but I have to say this once. I hate not being straight sometimes. I hate it so much. And I also hate that I hate it. Cuz like it would be so much easier to be straight. Less complications and difficulties when it comes to this part of their lives. I mean like I hate having to come out to anyone. I hate that homosexuality is kinda illegal in my country. And like idk I’m just ranting.
Tbh, I comparatively had it easy in terms of coming out cuz most of my friends were very accepting and I didn’t even have to come out to everyone as it automatically just spread through my grade through rumors and shit. But like if I had to come out in my old school, it would have been a whole other story and it wouldn’t have been easy.
And like idk you know how all my friends talk about guys and so I just feel slightly weird if I want to talk about girls. Then they say yeah but you can’t relate or something weird idk. and like when my friends talk about guys and be like oh that guy is so hot and I just laugh and say yeah. And I’m scared to actually be really friendly with people I’m not very close to cuz I don’t want them to feel strange when and if I do come out to them idk.
And like I see all these straight couple shows on tv and omg there are literally so many of them but hardly any shows with a story-line that revolves around lgbt characters and I hate that cuz I really just wanna see a cute lesbian love story and relate to that or whatever.
Idk I just sometimes wish I was straight. ugh. I shouldn’t wish that and I usually don’t but like I do sometimes and I get really frustrated when I do cuz like I don’t want to feel like this. Anyway, I should stop now cuz this post is really shitty and badly edited ugh but I can’t be bothered to edit right now, sorry.