Sorry.

Last night was really bad for me. I don’t even know what happened. I just felt so bad. And so I messaged a friend of mine and spoke to her a bit but like I didn’t even want to talk to anyone cuz I didn’t want to bother anyone. But I did. So stupid.

And like she kept saying that she’s sorry I feel like that and that I feel like that so often and I could kinda tell that she wasn’t sure of what to say and I understand that. Like I don’t expect her to understand cuz she’s not been through this and that’s a really good thing. And I don’t know, I guess all I need is for someone to listen. And I feel so bad when I tell people all this cuz I feel so attention seeking but I still need to talk so it’s weird. Anyway, that’s not the point of this post.

So yeah, last night. I guess I was just feeling really overwhelmed or something. I guess I just sometimes feel like I’m trying to not feel like shit and I’m trying to do better but I’m not managing and so I feel like I’m not trying hard enough maybe.

I feel like everyone’s living their lives, doing amazing things, and having fun like really living their teen lives to the fullest and I feel like I’m just wasting my time.

And like it was just one of those nights when I just feel like dying but like I wouldn’t do anything stupid but I just wish I could die. I don’t know. I’m sorry.

I’m not feeling better yet and I know I’m going to have a bad night tonight also but I’m going to have to deal with it I guess. It’s fine. I’ll maybe talk to my friend.
I’m just so messed up right now, I’m not even able to put it in words properly. Sorry.

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24 thoughts on “Sorry.

  1. Dear DayDreamer52,
    You can email me at anytime. I’m here for you whenever you need me. And whenever you don’t need me. Just send me an email. And I’ll try to make you feel better. Or just listen to you. I’m sorry that you feel like that. And you’re definitely not shit. You are a good person and you are worth living. Please don’t think you’d be better off dead because you are wonderful. And I want you to know that you can phone me whenever you want to. You’re one of the greatest persons that I know so far from the internet. And don’t worry about teenage life. I know what you feel like in that way because I feel the same too. You should do what you feel like and what you want to. Don’t think of what will the others think because it’s okay and it’s good what you do. Bye and I hope you feel better soon. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I promise you things are going to get better. There is always something, there are different ‘layers’ to life and everything is complex and intertwined. It’s never just like this, something will change for better. Take care of yourself, and give yourself plenty of self care. Do the things that make you happy. Feel free to email me at theinternethotel@yahoo.com if you need someome to talk to ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey, I know how you feel. These past two weeks have been really shitty so I can relate, I’ve had so many break downs which I’m really annoyed at myself for. Don’t apologise for how YOU feel, you can’t help it if you feel a certain way so it’s not your fault. Being around people who seem to be so happy and enjoying their lives is hard, especially when you’re not. It’s so easy to tell yourself that things will get better but it’s hard to believe it when you feel like it’s not. But you just need to trust the timing of your life, you’ll get the life that you deserve and you will eventually be satisfied with the things around you – things WILL get better. Maybe not now but soon, you don’t even know the good that’s coming. You need to believe that your darkest days wont last forever because light will find a way to come through.

    Please feel free to email me if you ever need someone to talk to; roxy8353@gmail.com

    Take care and remember you’re amazing xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey. Im sorry youve not been doing too well. Hope things get better for you soon. Thank you. I giess youre right, I just have let this pass and things will hopefully get better. Thank you, you can contact me through my contact page if you ever want to talk! Take care xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You have no reason to be sorry. You are perfect just the way you are, and even though people look like they are having the time of their lives, they are probably battling demons; physical or mental. You are so awesome, and just by admitting the way you feel, is , even on a small scale, helping you to feel better. YOU are amazing, and YOU are YOU. Just because people look happy, doesn’t mean they are.
    Please always know, you are amazing, and would be sorely missed.
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey, you have no reason at all to be sorry. It’s not your fault that things have been building up and now the load is too heavy. It’s not your fault that sometimes, people make it seem like they’re too busy for you. But I promise you, they do love you. They do want to help. It’s just hard when you seem to not want to talk to anyone, yet you also want someone to listen. You are wonderful. You are strong. You are lovely. Eventually, things will start to look up. You have to hold on until then. I’m sorry, you would’ve heard that so many times before, but it’s true. And remember, you have my email if you really want someone to listen. x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Never be sorry for this – it’s not on your shoulders that this has piled up on you. But always remember that behind everyone’s smile and laugh is something that they’re trying to overcome. YOU are amazing, brave and beautiful, and your friends love you, and we love you. I know it’s not much, but don’t give in. Don’t surrender. Your life is not worth that. Keep moving forward because this isn’t the end. Not yet πŸ™‚
    Also I’m always around to listen – adding to the list of emails, mine is itsemiwee@gmail.com πŸ™‚

    Like

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