So I’ve been reading everyone’s end of year posts and that has kind of led me to think about my year, and I’m kinda realizing that a lot happened over this past year. A lot of things have changed, for better or worse. And yes, I’m getting all sentimental and emotional over the fact that the year is ending! Okay so I’m just going to list out everything that has happened over the past year in random order, the good and the not so good.
- I started posting more regularly on this blog which is one of the best things I did all year. I love blogging and meeting so many people and reading their blogging and even talking to them through emails and all that! It’s been great and my blog has grown a lot over the past year. For me, it’s like a judgement free zone, I can write whatever comes to my mind without hesitating and I can be brutally honest and I love that!
- I finished Grade 11 with decent grades and survived semester 1 of grade 12! Yay! I scored a 7 in World Religions in grade 11 which was great! And okay, so semester 1 of grade 12 was stressful AF but I made it through so that’s good! And yes, I cried over not being able to do my work on time and I didn’t do amazingly well in all my subjects but that’s okay, I guess.
- I went on my last ever school camp. It was quite bitter sweet for me I suppose. I had happy moments and sad ones but that’s okay. I wrote a post about it earlier here.
- I had really bad and sad and pathetic days and I cut a lot and I cried a lot and felt stupid and worthless but I made it through those days and I’m still here. So I don’t know if that’s good or bad but that’s something I guess. And I’m trying to keep this post all positive and shit.
- I made some friends. Not all friendships lasted the entire year but I had some good times I think. And I grew apart from some friends, but I guess that happens.
- My social anxiety stuff and cutting and all that got really bad and so I finally spoke to an adult about it. My English teacher to be more specific and she has been so helpful and nice and I am so thankful!
- I socialized a bit. I hung out with my school friends a few times and I even celebrated my birthday with them which was kinda nice I think.
- I managed to do a few things on my bucket list – I did volunteer work, I got a Polaroid camera, I had macaroons, Used a fake name at Starbucks, made a rainbow cake, and went to prom. Yes, they are kinda lame but who cares!? I did them cuz I wanted to!
- And most importantly, I made it! The year is almost getting over and I’m still here! I did it! Through all the crazy freak out sessions and suicidal feelings and cutting and crying and everything, I Made it! I even did a few things that I feel good about!
Yeah, so that’s it! I won’t say that it’s been a good year or a bad year but it’s been a year! An eventful one and yeah this sounds weird but I’ve grown as a human being and I’ve learned a lot so yeah!
EDIT – okay who am I kidding!? My year was shit and I’m kinda glad it’s over. I’m trying to be all positive about it but honestly, I had a really hard time and I was a mess and I cut the most I ever have and I cried so so much. Even in school. And so yeah it was bad but at least it’s over now. And I’m not particularly looking forward to a new year but it’s going to happen so I’ll deal with it. And yeah, I’m glad this year I over.