So here’s what’s been happening
1. My exams are going on and they’re stressful as fuck.
2. I’m tired and I’ve hit another one of my really bad phases. I cut again day before yesterday.
3. I’m feeling so stupid idek why.
4. Vacations start on 18th and I can’t wait.
5. Winter is here. And that means I’m going to get so much worse. I always do. I hardly end up talking to people and then I end up feeling so shitty and then I end up cutting and it’s just terrible. Ugh. I can’t wait for all of this to end.
6. I’m so tired of pretending to be so happy all the time but I don’t really have a choice so I’m going to go with it. I can’t be sad because then I just feel like I’m attention seeking which I’m not trying to be so yeah I’m just going to have to deal with my shit.
7. Did I mention that I’m really really tired. Not physically but also mentally and emotionally and omg I’m exhausted. Actually, physically too.

Sorry, this post is beyond pathetic. I’m just in such a crappy mood. Today’s been such a terrible day.


16 thoughts on “Updates

  1. Are you okay? I know really you aren’t but do you want to talk about it? You could email me if you want? I know this probably won’t help but you could always try and make this winter different? I am not sure how you could do that, is it up to you to decide, but it is never too late for a turn of events! I know that is overly cheesy and probably doesn’t help but instead made you roll your eyes but I just really wish I could help you feel better!

    Liked by 3 people

    • This is not cheesy. This is really sweet of you. Thank you so much. And yes, I am making an effort to try to feel better and make this winter nicer, it’s just a bit difficult. I’m a bit tired right now but I could email you tomorrow if that’s okay. Oh and also, I had to ask you a few things about the happiness project so I’ll just add that to my email tomorrow if that’s okay?
      Hope you’re doing well. Take care.


  2. Can you get extensions on your exams? I do that. I even take Incompletes and finish them the following semester. It doesn’t reflect poorly on your transcript.


    Liked by 1 person

      • I’m not trying to over step my bounds, but I’m just telling you my experience- I registered for the Center of Students with Disabilities at my school. I supplied paperwork of my disabilities (physically and emotionally). Then, they sent the letter to each professor. Because you have a documented illness, if you get a letter from a doctor, in the United States it is illegal for them to not allow you to get the recommendations from your doctor. I know that for a fact. You just need the paperwork.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You’re not overstepping your bounds at all. I always appreciate comments. The thing is, I’m not in the United States and where I’m from, I don’t think this is possible. But thank you so much for the suggestion. And this is valuable information I can pass on to friends who are in the U.S. so thank you!


      • Oh, I’m so sorry to hear you don’t have the same rights as I do! It’s not fair to you! You really are suffering more so than the average student. You have to work twice as hard or more to keep up. I’ve been going for my Undergrad degree for six years instead of four because I keep having to take off for medical reasons (i’m also on chemotherapy right now for a physical illness). I will pray you are strong and succeed. If you ever need someone to talk to you, I am here to listen. Most of my poetry (if not all) deals with chronic pain/depression/anxiety/self-harm.


        Liked by 2 people

  3. Hey, LISTEN – you’re not attention-seeking. You never could be. Being sad is bloody okay and I hope you know you can talk to me WHENEVER you’d like. I KNOW you’re not okay right now, but GOD, you can talk to us. Why would we judge you? It’s better to get it out, because if you shut it in you’ll make yourself feel worse. As for the cutting – I can’t do much to help with that, but there is SOMETHING someone told me once. It’s unpleasant, but go with it. Imagine that your arm, or the skin you cut, is someone else’s. Someone you love and would never want to hurt. And if that doesn’t work, imagine your skin as paper. On the inside are all these awful things – they say you’re worthless, awful, stupid. But on the outside’s the truth: you’re amazing and wonderful. And what you need to do is turn that saper around. I know this doesn’t help, but I’m always here to rant at.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are NOT attention seeking, not at all, no way NEVER. And WE all know that, so turn to us for support. Write about your innermost darkest feelings and whine about your shit day – it’s okay, that’s why we’re here. Plus, you’re NOT alone. I can relate to everything you’ve written there. God, I can, so much. Therefore I’m probably not the best person to give advice about cutting, but just think IT DOESN’T HELP. For me, it makes it ten times worse. If you’re aching to cut, call a friend, or come on your blog, just to talk to anyone. Distract yourself. Talk to me. You’re way too important and amazing to lose xx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s