This and that

So I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this here before but I have a bit of a crush on my friend Annie. But like I know that it’s never going to lead anywhere and I tend to get very attached and then I end up getting hurt. So a few days back I kind of decided that I’m going to distance myself a bit from her and so I stopped messaging her and even reduced talking to her in school.

She knows that I’ve been going through a rough patch and so she’s been trying to help out as much as she can but I stopped talking to her about what’s going on also.
(On a side note : I’ve been talking to a teacher of mine about what’s going on and that’s kinda helpful but I’ve stopped talking to my friends about it because I feel like I’m burdening them with my issues. )

Anyways, both of us have been really busy with school and so we haven’t talked much. So then I was doing okay but then today she messages me just to check in and see if I’m doing okay. And I love that she does this. Checks to make sure I’m okay but it makes it so difficult for me to distance myself from her then.
So she asked if I cut again and so I told her that I did a bit and so she started asking why and what happened and I told her all that.
And omg I like her so much. I can’t belive I like her so much.

Anyways, this post is pretty stupid because my thoughts are all over the place right now.
I had a bit of an issue with one of my friends on Wednesday. Well it wasn’t really an issue actually, my mind just made it an issue. I just really wanted this friend of mine to hang out with me in the last lesson of the day because I was feeling really horrible. But of course I didn’t tell her that. So we were just sitting and talking and then she wanted to go hang out with this guy and so I told her to go and that I didn’t mind but in all honestly I really wanted her to be around and I’m kind of obsessing over that a bit right now. It’s strange cuz lately I’ve just been finding it a bit difficult to talk to her. I don’t really know what it is. But whatevr, I’m not going to go into more details than this because there is a chance that she might read this and I don’t want to like hurt her or something.

I have my SAT tomorrow and I’m a bit nervous because I haven’t done so well on the practice tests so let’s see.

Yeah that’s all I guess. This post is very lame. I know. Okay bye now.


2 thoughts on “This and that

  1. Dang, you are in a pickle. I wouldn’t say that you ought to distance yourself from Annie, even if you like her, especially since she has helped you out so much with your cutting and everything.

    While it will be very difficult, not telling her that you like her will be better for the two of you, at least for the time being. Sorting out your anxiety/depression issues is your priority, and once you can be able to cope with those, then working out your crush on Annie is next. One step at a time, one breath at a time…

    Those are what I would offer for you to do. There might be better ways, so it’s fine if you choose not to do so. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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