My only Regret

This is based on a really big and important part of my life. I am not the kind of person who has regrets, except this one. This is the only regret I have. (except one more, but that’s more a what if rather than a regret and that story is for another time) It is more a story than a poem, I don’t know why I wrote it in poetry/verse form. Anyways, this is really personal for me and I feel really vulnerable putting this out to the world, but here goes…

I never had a father figure in my life,
that is until I was about 9.
That is when my mom met a guy,
A guy who treated all of us real nice;

He was there for everything,
The big stuff and the small.
He really did love my mom,
more than words can express.

He was good for her,
She was good for him,
But I never could accept him;

Where I come from,
mother’s aren’t supposed to get married again.
I didn’t understand
and no one bothered to explain.

I pushed him away
and I blocked him out,
He tried to be a part of our life
but to no avail, I wouldn’t let him.

My mom really did love him
He really did love her;
But my mom loved me more.

She made me her priority,
He came second for her.
I guess he got tired of me
Because after a point, he stopped trying.

It broke my mom’s heart
He broke my mom’s heart
I broke my mom’s heart
and there is nothing I regret more.

It made her bitter,
It ruined out relationship.
If only I had accepted him,
maybe mom wouldn’t hate me as much.

I am so sorry I did this.
But I honestly did not understand.
I know that’s not an excuse,
And I would do anything to go back and change it.

I was a kid, I made a mistake.
Please forgive me, this wasn’t my intention
Please understand how much I regret it.
I’m sorry mom.

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