Almost done with Grade 11

Yesterday was sort of the last day of Grade 11 for me. Our exams start from Thursday and we got today, that is Tuesday and Wednesday as prep leave. I can’t believe that grade 11 is already almost over. Sometimes I feel that time goes by so fast and I don’t want school to end so soon and at other times I can’t wait to get out of school and go off to college or whatever it is that I am going to do after school. Initially I didn’t even realize that it was the last full day of school for this year, no one did. But once I did realize it, I got so emotional and senti (I have literally become such an emotional wreck!). But not a sad emotional but more like a happy reminiscing emotional. I was thinking about how next year my locker will be in a different place and I might have a different form tutor and all that. I cannot believe that this time next year we would be giving our IB finals and would almost be done with school forever. We would probably by then already know what colleges we are going to go to, which city/country we would be in and all that. It would also probably be the last time I see some of my classmates. Oh my God, the thought of school ending already terrifies and excites me so much even though its almost a year away. On my Graduation day i am probably going to be the one who cant stop getting emotional and crying! Okay, now I am going to stop thinking about that and focus on the present.

I have exams from the day after tomorrow and I am not even nearly prepared and yet I sit here blogging rather than studying. God, i need to stop procrastinating because I know otherwise I am going to panic so much last minute. I am just not getting motivated to study, it’s so annoying! I know that my predicted grades will depend on these exams and that should be enough motivation but for some reason, it’s not. My attitude has become so laid back. Like I literally found myself thinking- so what if I get a good predicted score, I’ll get into a good college but so what. I don’t want a monotonous life where you get good grades at school, go to a good college, get a good job, get married, have kids and that’s it. I want more. I want want to follow this stupid overused path. I want to do something different. I want to go on adventures and jump of planes and travel the world and dive into oceans and meet new people and have lots of sex and I don’t know, experience life my way and find my true calling. That if there is something called one’s true calling in life.

Okay I don’t even know what this post was supposed to be and it has become enough directionless so I think I am just going to end it here. Okay bye.

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