Sick of feeling like this.

I just fucking want that. I just want love. I want it so bad. I am desperate for it. I am tired, so tired of feeling like this- unloved, not good enough, never enough. I just fucking want someone to want me. Just please please love me. I want to be someone’s reason to smile. I want someone to think about me and feel all warm and mushy. I want someone to love me. Why is it never me? Why am I never the girl people fall in love with? I just want to be happy. For once, I just want pure, unadulterated bliss. I want someone to wake up thinking of me and hold me and to just want me around. I don’t understand why it’s never me. Do I not deserve it? I get it, I am not pretty, thin or even smart.But I am human. I need love. I want someone to kiss me and hold me like they they have never been with someone like me. I want to feel special for once in my fucking life. For as long as I can remember, I have been the unwanted one. I want people to want me.

I am tired of being invisible. And I don’t know how to change this. I am everyone’s second choice. Or maybe like the 8th or 9th choice. I don’t know. I just want to be someone’s priority. I want to make someone as happy as they make me. I am sick of feeling like I am not enough.

I cut again. I stopped doing it with so much difficulty last time. I don’t why I started again. I am stupid. I don’t what I am doing. I am not fulfilling any expectations. Mine or anyone else’s. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. When will it be my chance? When will someone want me? When will someone get butterflies when they think of me, when will someone want to be with me and talk to me all the time? I just want someone to be there for me. I just want to be there for someone. I need someone to hold me. I need a hug. A long and comforting hug.

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8 thoughts on “Sick of feeling like this.

  1. I feel like that a lot of the time. It comes and goes. For some reason especially when I’m stressed. But the way I see it, I don’t think it matters right now because when we do get that person it’s going to be totally worth the wait. I’d rather wait for this guy that’s gonna be perfect and make me so happy than go through all the twats who will just unnecessarily hurt me. So maybe if you look at it like that, it could help?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish there was a simple answer. I wish your pain could be taken away. I wish you would see yourself for the real beauty you hold. I wish you didn’t feel lost, lonely or hurt. I wish you wouldn’t cut again. I wish you the very very best. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Never allow yourself to be so desperate that you end up settling for far less than you deserve. Desperate women only attracts weak men. You don’t want that right? Sometimes loving our own self is enough love we need. Don’t worry no one is destined to be alone. The right guy for you might be in a traffic finding its way to you. Just wait. Cheer up sweetie! Lots of love! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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