Warning- Rant post
Ugh, why do I have to be so fucking insecure. Like why the hell can I not have just a little bit of confidence in myself? Every time I walk into a room, I feel like people are looking at me and laughing or pointing. Every time I have to talk or give a presentation, I feel like I will mess up and people will make fun of me and so I get really nervous. And I am so fucking conscious of how I look in school. I am always tugging at my t-shirt or adjusting my skirt or whatever. It annoys me so much and I know that I shouldn’t do it but I do anyways. Even when I walk in the hallways I feel like people are looking at me and judging me and laughing at me. It makes me so conscious and so I try to walk better but I just end up walking faster which is so stupid! And I cannot even fucking look at myself in the mirror. Like every time I look at the mirror or something I can just see all the stupid and ugly parts of me. All I see is my pimples and how fat I am and nothing I see appeals to me. I am going crazy. Every time I even say something, I feel that people are silently judging me. Every time I walk by and someone laughs, I feel like they must be laughing at me. And because of my stupid insecurities, I do not even answer questions in class even if I know the answer for fear that my answer will be wrong and people will think that I am stupid. Ughh, I am so fucked up. I am fucking tired of myself. I just want to change myself completely.