I need…

Sometimes I feel like I can cope on my own but other days I just need someone to hold me. I need someone to be there. But for some reason, I can never seem to ask anyone for help. I tell myself that I can do it all on my own but sometimes I feel like I can’t. I want someone who wants me. I want someone to ask about my day and to want to talk to me and to miss me when I am not around. And then there are days like today when all I need is a tight hug. When I need to know that someone cares.
It’s not that I want someone to stay with me all day long or talk to me all day long, I just need you to randomly come up to me and talk to me. Be it something random or something deep and meaningful. I need someone to think I am a part of their life and involve me in the little things in their life. I need someone to care about me. I don’t know why I need this, but I do.
That desperate need to be needed, that’s my hamartia. But I can’t let it go. Even though I feel like a selfish bitch while writing this, I still feel this way. I feel terrible that I am only thinking about what I need, but I am tired of thinking of what other people need. I always let people walk all over me and treat me like I am not even human. And sometimes I feel like I am invisible or that I really don’t matter and that is why I am totally ignored. I just need people to talk to me. And yeah I know that this is stupid, but I am so awfully shy that if I ever approach you to talk then know that it took a lot of guts on my part. So that is why I need you to come and talk to me.
All I really really need right now is for someone to hug me and hold me and tell me that it will all be okay. I tell everyone that I am doing fine and that I can manage anything and hide all the damn pain under plastic smiles but I really feel like I am on the verge of collapsing.

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